his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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