Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
