Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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