I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
