It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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