Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize