ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
