I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
