Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
