What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
