Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
