omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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