You're completely useless in the revolution.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I didn't shave. On purpose
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
