How'd it feel making her break her religion?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
