ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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