WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
