did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
