what day is it and did you see me today?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
