have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
