my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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