Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
