His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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