Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
