So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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