I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
