We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
