If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
