What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
