don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
