Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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