I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
