I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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