he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize