where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
