People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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