I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
