why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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