dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Houston, we have a squirter
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
