So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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