Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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