are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
