He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think I have vodka in my lungs
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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