while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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