Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
