You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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