11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
