I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
