Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
