She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
