people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
