why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
