I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
