Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
