Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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