no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
...so i touched it.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
