Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
