I wish I could teleport
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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