I want to stick my p in your. b.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
