You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
