Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
