bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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