why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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