My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
