Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
