Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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